Added on January 6, 2011 | 52 Comments »
Topics: Marriage, Women
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by halaltube. halaltube said: Khalid Yasin – Advice to Muslim Women http://bit.ly/fs0dOa [...]
Salaam. May Allah reward this brother for the lecture he delivered. May Allah protet us sisters in Islam. May He make us amongst the righteous and pious women. May Allah save us from hellfire and make us dwell in Jannah forever. May Allah give us hidaya and fill our heart with mercy, peace and tranquility and remove any ill feeling and thought for any of our Muslim brothers and sisters in Islam. JazakAllah khair brother…walaikumsalaam
subhanallah, a very good advice to correct my behavior; i think it would have been better if the title included muslim men too or addressed as advice to muslim couples instead of limited to womem only, may Allah protect our community,amin!
Salaam alaikum sis, there are other lectures addressed specifically to men, and I find it helpful that this is specific to women. It simplifies the subject- it’s not out of sexism or class division or anything. Just simplification. Men and women are different and deserve to be addressed specifically to their own situations. As I mentioned, there are lectures specific to men as well.
its talks alot about making children and taking care of them..
wonderful lecture we have learnt alot from this advice
Salam alaykom warahmatullah. I was distressed by this video even though I recognize that his points are valid and women do have responsibilities. But who does Allah first command to lower their gazes and guard their modesty? The men. When you have men who apparently do not understand that their parts need to be covered from naval to below the knees, praying in shorts at the masjid, but proclaiming that their women need to wear better hijab or niqab, it is hypocritical and discouraging. I have yet to see an 80 minute video addressing men and reminding them of their duties as husbands and their need for modesty. I understand that Khalid Yasin has been around some rather belligerent women. Most of the women I know seek to make happy lives and take great care in regards to their duties as a wife. But after they watch dozens of videos like this one, even the strongest, most faithful wife will wonder how she can ever live up to the standard proposed.. and never leave the man who is choking her for causing him some implied insult. Not conjecture. This happened. Alhamdulillah she did leave him and is as strong in her faith now as before. But listen, please, because I am a woman proud to wear hijab and abaya. If you address the issues of modesty and hijab, follow the example given to you by Allah- remind both.
And Allah knows best what is in our hearts.
Indeed sister. Thats why we are where we are. Lectures to oppressed, how to be modest yet no reminder to pharohs
You just say everything ,may allah guide as all .
What about a man who is not even fulfilling his duty towards Allah and pushed by his nature of being lustful can do anything he wants, specially can’t he control his desire of having multiple women , I have some stats to tell men as well
1. All those who are not even free to give little time to one woman will surely be ready to have 2nd one as it shows that they are bored from first one
2. All those in jails what made them go behind bars?? why didn’t they follow religion and not commit sins at first place ?
3. The gays and homo didn’t fear Allah?? Why??
4. The war fronts are not for religious reasons or not to please Allah???
5. Ask men to go to jihad and marry 2nd wife as he is lonely in some other city. It’s justified, BUT WHAT GOOD IS IT TO ANY SOCIETY WHERE WOMEN BECOME TOYS MEN ARE NOT GOING TO MOSQUES BUT THEY REMEMBER THAT QURAN ALLOWS THEM TO MARRY 4 WIVES !!
This video is pure fitna pls remove it as every man knows he can marry four and poor women are sacrificing goats, sacrifice from her side only makes him king of the world!!!
I agree with you sister %100. Muslim men have their faults and mistakes and no one is addressing it.
I agree with you sister. Sometimes to me the lecturers convinently forget the job we do as mothers, wives, oldest siblings, etc… its hard at times and stressful. Some of us have to do our duties with little or no help. Subhanallah! if it was not for my strong faith and personality, I would have gave up a long time ago. Why are the sisters always being corrected? we all fall short at times. the lectures need to address both men and women since we are garments one to another.
AS’SALAAMU ALAIKUM ,
OH YESS INDEED.I AM SO MUCH IMPRESSED BY COMMENTS INSHAA’ALLAAH. A REMIND SHOULD BE ON BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN BUT NOT ONE SIDE.
AND I THINK THIS SHOULD BE DONE IN EVERY TOPIC UNDER DISCUSSION .
AL’LAAH GUIDE US ALL .
ALLAAH SWT KNOWS BEST.
I thought this was an interesting lecture with valid points. I definitely got somethings from it. However, somethings really bothered me, maybe because he didn’t really backup much with ayah or hadith and it seemed more like his opinion. For example, the west part really made me a little confused. He was saying the West gives the power to the women etc. I’m sorry but some of that power HAS to go to the woman, it is not all for the men Subhan’allah. I come from an immigrant family and when we give money back home it’s ALWAYS sent to the women there. Why? Because the women are the one’s who will use it for their children- for their education, for food etc. If you are going to make a broad statement like that, you need to be a lot more specific.
Excellent points Miss Fatima………Well said….
Utmost gratitudes and salutations to Dr. Khalid yasin May almighty Allah (the Exalted) in his infinite mercy grant you jannat al firdaus for your tremendous effort of islamic propagations. Amen
esselamu aejkum…mashaallah…I am from Bosnia and my husband has four wives
Mashallah, 4 wives. How did the advice help you? Perhaps my level of islam has not reached your level. JAK
elhamdulillah,it helped me a lot…especially the part about patient and reward for it…but the most important is to be aware that this dunja is going to be past and that we live for other world…for me that is enough in times when I am sad because of something,especially
Well, May Allah help you ummu habiba. For Allah knows best!
may Allah help us all-inshaAllah…may allah guide us to help His Word and gude us to Paradise-amin!
May Allah give us a thankful heart so that we can become a whole person, and good Muslims not just gifted with intellect that can understand, but with heart that truly cares and loves.
may Allah give our Islamic teachers long life ,good health and halal wealth……ameen
Asalamu alaikum wrwb.
Ma’ashallah, may Allah bless Khalid Yasin with Jannahtul firdaus.
I say to any sister who has something against this lecture to “FEAR ALLAH”.
The reason why our marriages are no longer happy is because we have sicknesses in our hearts. Instead of focusing on our duties and obligations to others, we are demanding it from others. We need to fear Allah and cleanse our hearts and be open to good advice. Off course men have issues and yes, off course some men abuse women and so on, but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The point is, “—WE–” FULLFILL!
Allah indeed is just and He subhanuhuwataAllah is not blind. He rewards accordingly and He calls to account accordingly. This lecture is not meant to discourage, but to push us. Remember, our aim, our distination, our whole point of doing good deeds, IS TO ENTER JANNAH. And hey, who told you we are going to enter Jannah having a good time in this dunya. We are going to be tried and tested; in fact, sometimes, if your iman is not strong, you may start having doubts about your belief!
Open your heart to advice and try and take from it what you can, the rest, ask Allah for help. As for the men, well, its your duty as a wife to help them we like it or not. Allah says, it is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT EXCEPT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PATIENCE!!!
Let us fulfill our duties and responsibilities and then we wait for Allah, surely, Allah does not betray.
OH,POOR MAN, wish him all the happiness!!!
Respected daughter Fatima Gambia,
As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahma wa Barakah,
YOUR MESSAGE IS CRYSTAL CLEAR FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ACQUIRED
THE LIGHT OF EEMAAN IN THEIR HEARTS.AND AS FOR THOSE WHO
ARE STILL ON THEIR WAY TO ACQUIRE EEMAAN, IT WILL TAKE
SOME TIME. MAY ALLAH AZ-ZAWWAJJAL GRANT THEM TIME, AMEEEEN.
YOUR REWARD IS SURELY PARADISE BY THE EXCLUSIVE MERCY OF ALLAH.
AND WE BEG TO HIM ALONE, IS’NT IT ?
as salama alaikum dear sister from Gambia,
I do fear Allah. Do the man need to fear him too or just women again? I do complaint only to Allah. My statement is not a complaint, it is based on fact of life masha Allah. Allah knows best. I do not speak unless I pray first, so my words are guided rightly insha Allah. I dont go around talking about my affairs idlely. I try to use words that will be some good to others not to put anyone down or just correcting. it was just a shared thought to think about. this happens all the time. YOu a woman you should know this. Do you like being corrected all the time sister? I believe sisters are doing the best they can and if some are not, I agree with you They should FEAR ALLAH. We are suppose to be helpers one of another. Muslims are suppose to council one another but if the council is not helpful and negative at the time maybe the council need to rethink about HOW he are she is presenting his or her message. People dont hear the message. It’s TOO Negative. Dear sister this is my field of work I know what I am talking about. Subhanallah.
this video is going to cause a lot of FITNA in many houses,first we need to be people of TAQWA,what essense of islam will a non righteous get out of this,an alcoholic man who loves to have girlfriends, go to pubs, will really love this!!
but my question is that when its told to man to lower his gaze but in order to really get to know the women he wanna keep as his second wife, first he will offend Allah not only by looking at her but also meeting her many times then only he will fulfil his ultimate desire to have all the women in the world one by one… wow
The Mufti that performed my nikkah said that the first thing I must do when I go home is to take my rights and bury it deep in my backyard. Ok, I am not saying that one should totally ignore or forgo ones rights but focusing and demanding it all the time is a sure way to please shaytaan, and weaken the marraige.
2ndly, I have learnt that she saying ‘no’ to the husband is a problem. It is big problem. Quran and Hadith cannot lie. As you know, a man is by nature more ‘charged’. It is a God given quality and a God given right to take another. Women have to be more smarter in handling this charged one, if she doesnt want him looking around or proposing.
Lastly, yes women are a fragile adornment and need to be handled with great care and patience.
how stpid we women are…we just want love and care…but are we grateful to our lord for everything,for breathing,example?!love,love…bla,bla…are you reading Qur’an every day,helping the orphans,teaching your children about islam and other deeds????do not think just about love and care cuz that is not the reason why you are on this dunja!!!!!!THINK BETTER-THAT IS FOR YOUR GOOD.SELAM ALEJKUM
MashAllah he has some good point, but….male perspective…problematic…
Men and women need to focus more on their personal relationship with Allah swt.
Both men and women need to improve their feminine and masculine attributes to not be dependent one another.
In this short life we should focus on our desires on worshiping and pleasing Allah swt.
Fitna – trials and temptations that may face the believers…Something becomes a fitna for an individual when it takes them away from their deen,
we have to be self-critical, and learn to deal with our own behaviour.
I’m disappointed that this video is on this web site. It is extremist.
I’m trying my best to speak respectfully, but messages like the one above are the reason why so many Muslim women are being oppressed and abused all around the world.
Man’s rights are seen as primary, and a woman’s as secondary. A man’s need to stay away from sexual temptation is more important than a woman’s right to exist in society. A man’s right to sex is more important than a woman’s right to sex. When men behave poorly, we excuse them. When women behave poorly, we punish them. It’s sickening.
This mentality portrays women as just another object put on the earth FOR men. But, Allah (SWT) created this world for both men and women.
I’m saddened by the women commenting on this video, who react so callously to the abuse their sisters suffer every day. Women with legitimate concerns are told to shutup and stop complaining. That even though the creator of the UNIVERSE gave us rights and gave us life, we are to sit in silence and subjugation as oppressive men deny them to us.
MashAllah sister, I agree JazakAllah
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته , you are very right sister , why don’t men realize that this allowance has conditions attached ,if they are not fulfilled , sunnah is not adopted then it’s going to cause havoc at homes , justice is the condition .. The price for having urge of another legitimate sexual relation is loss of jannah if failed . Can men be patient and loving like prophet sallalaho alaihi wasallim , no ..
Secondly why don’t they marry an old widow with kids for giving her protection such women are not thought about , no one wants them ..
Allaah swt allowed this to stop zina , and the penalty has been fixed over it , if one cannot do justice he will be raised on judgement day half bodied only .. isn’t it very scary ?
Just like jihad is open to every man do they go ?
It’s difficult , why do they act on parts of book and leave the rest …
Marrying more than one is not fard , it’s for purpose of looking after widows , divorcees , but if man is not capable to keep one happy because of lack of taqwa then how can he risk 2 lives …
Man is responsible because Allah Subhanaho Ta’Ala named women his tilth(soil). Which grow fruits for him depending upon what he grows , thorns or plants , looks after it or does not care
Women body gives out exactly what s put in, in terms of emotions too , a sad cribbing wife is a sign of lame selfish farmer who could not grow for himself a garden.
I saw soundbytes of this lecture during the whole park 21 incident. It was really made to seem like the brother was going off. In actuality,I can’t find anything objectionable about what he said. He started off saying this was advice, not a fatwa. He ended saying if you have proof of other than what he said follow it. His advice was basically learn your rights and what’s asked of you in Qur’an. He even went on to admonish the brothers, rightfully, saying the wife has no obligation to cook, clean and so on and so forth, also that the woman should not be abused. Advise was not to gossip and spread bad news amongst people, but rather if you complain which you have the right to do then tell the one who will be effective in getting you justice. He never advised not to complain but to complain to a leader who will get you just and not to backbite to people who cannot help you. He spoke against men thinking they are superior to women, rather he said in the sight of Allah men and women are equal in regards to piety which is what makes anyone superior over another. He said men and women are not equal in responsibility which is also correct, for men cannot bear children and in the Qur’an Allah distinctly speaks about the rights and duties of spouses. I disagreed with the point of women not having their own money for indeed the Prophet (SAW)’s wife Khadijah radiAllahu anha was a successful business woman whom the Prophet (SAW) worked for prior to their marriage. He also clarified this point that there is nothing wrong with wives working but it should not take them away from properly taking care of their families. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that. And the same thing was said for men in the same instance, give your wives their rights, be grateful for what they do.
I really went into watching this video after looking at the comments ready to blast what Khalid was going to say. In reality, as far as I understand it,he did not call for the oppression of women or wives in anyway. I honestly think that reading the Qur’an has become a thing rarely done for many of the points he made were not from hadith but from Qur’an. He did not advocate the abuse of women in anyway rather he said be grateful to them. All in all, understanding is based on the person receiving and that person’s reception. Whatever good can be retained from this I hope we get it even if its
” I totally disagree I’m going to read the Qur’an and study to find out what’s really going on I’m not taking his word for it”
Alhamdulillah be informed. For all of those men who treat women wrong in anyway and use the Qur’an to justify their actions, they have to answer to Allah. Likewise, all of us will have to answer to Allah so I pray that Allah guide us aright and straighten out our affairs inshaAllah.
Salam Dear Sisters in Islam
In my own opnion The Brother was just trying to help us the sister.Can any of the sister what harm will it do you if you purely follow the advice the brother gave if you are God fearing.It seems we are being very petty and childish about the whole ISSUE.Why think of what you partner does or does not,all that matter is for you to do what is expected of you and leave the rest to GOD.It is said that YOU ARE NOT YET A FAILURE UNTILL YOU BLAME SOMEONE FOR YOUR PROBLEMS.Therefore I think We by pointing fingers at men are becoming failure marrytal homes.This vedio is adressing women with Iman and Taqua but not the one fill with western ideologies and weak iman.I am advicing you dear sisters to read about our riligion and about our great role model(women of the time of the holy prophet SAW).Than we will understand that we have a greater role to play.
Lats fear ALLAH and Respect Our holy Nabi Inch allah
Very respected daughter, As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahma wa Barakah,
YOUR RESPONSE IS SO MUCH PERFECT. IT IS A COMPLETE SIGN OF
VERY GOOD BEFIEF IN ALLAH AZ-ZAWWAJJAL. INSHA ALLAH YOU WILL
BECOME VERY GOOD MUSLIMAH TO GUIDE A LOT OF SISTERS TO THE
WAY OF JANNAH, PARADISE. SHARE QURAN & SUNNAH TO ALL DAUGHTERS,
THAT’S IT. KEEP GOING, ALLAH IS WATCHING. Thank you so much.
the brother is not very good with statistics.
This is not a very good lecture despite of some of what he said is true. He is not a good speaker at all. He is being sarcastic as well. No one likes to take advice from this type of speakers. He has put the onus of a good marriage and happiness on women only. Men play a big role in the marriage to make it a happy marriage. The problems in marriage occur when men start expecting too much from their wives but give little to her with regards to respect, love and appreciation. and ignore the hardship their wives go through Men are selfish and hard to please!
Both men and women are responsible to do their role. It’s a two way street.
Hope we can all get the guidance from Allah. Ameen!
may alla reward the shikh khalid for his lectures
the best videos for shikh which i like it
purpose of life 1 and 2
our big.. our end
God bless all
please give me audio and video programme by email
salam alium samim
you can get most of the videos and audio lectures on the wibe just search
and i will uploaded in shallah for all
Masha Allah for this admonition, may Allah SWT bless and preserve our br., increase him in wisdom and descend upon his home peace and tranquility (and to the homes of the Ummah in general).Subhanallah, I’m so disheartened by the response from the majority of the sisters here. If it was not for the Muslim names, I could have sworn that the comments were from Non-Muslims. He was fair and just in his delivery and may Allah forgive his trespasses and overlook his shortcomings.
It is exactly this attitude from our sisters that has got our Ummah to where it is today. The gay brothers, the jailed brothers, the incomplete men – who raised them? Sisters, stop lieing to us, we are the cause of the misfortune (mostly due to misplaced priorities). We need to retrace our steps, and rise up to the challenge facing us and deliver our Ummah from what it is. Restoration of the glory of this Ummah is in our hands,
Who raised all the Scholars we revere today, ur fellow sisters, so please letz stop moaning abt what the sh said, you are so enlightened, pick up the Quran, get online and register for free courses and improve your deen. For once, let us re-orientate ourselves and pursue the Akhirah and insha Allah we would have succeeded in gaining the best of both worlds.
May Allah forgive the writer and the reader and make this comment a contribution to the Deen insha Allah and I pray that Allah accepts it from me and make these words weigh in my good deeds in the Akhirah. I love you all for the sake of Allah and pray to be united with you all in the Akhirah ameen
As salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
Insha Allah sisters, if we take his words as an admonition rather than an indictment on our character or person. If we decide to take on board what he has said (so long as we can confirm that it is from the Quran and Sunnah) and we all make conscious efforts to save our next generations, insha Allah we would be victorious in this world and the next. If we hear these words as oppressive, we may overlook the good message and loose out on the benefits from returning the Ummah of our beloved Nabiyy (SAW) to the glory we know about. May Allah ease our affairs and accept our efforts from us and bless us with the best of both worlds, aameen
salaam, surely ustaz Khalid ya sin is surely the shield to the true rights women of all over the world. May Allah (saw) give him the wisdom to conquer the effect of evil on our brothers and sisters all over the world,amen. My dear brothers and sisters let us open our eyes to understand and fight against the western conspiracies that engulf the developing nations across the glove. yes we can do u and i.
zakari dayyabu R/dadi
my question is men now a days use that as an excuse just to go out there to get any other wife they want just 4 the fun of it, because they clam there are aloud, to which is not good. why is it that men don’t appreciate what they have until they lot it.so what makes them go 4 another wife if not 4 pleasure
ASSALAMU WALIKUM, THIS LECTURE HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING ON HOW I WAS THOUGHT AS A NEW MUSLIM JZAKAL’ALLAH, ALAMDULILLAH….
Barka Allah lak
may Allah guid us all
And now we have fallen so low that we have to listen to the ass lickers of the Saudi Royal Family. I challenge you to criticise Saudi Royal Family and the laws they have created to run Saudi Arabia. In fact there are no laws. When something that is applied selectively cannot be law.
Saudi Funded site. Shame on you so called religious scholars. Shame on these bootlickers. OUr women do not have to follow them who do not know how to respect a woman.
This guy is going to teach our women? Give me a break.
As salamu alaikum, May Allah protect, preserve and reward this brother. I believe his intentions are good. I am just a little fatigued with men dolling out advice to the sisters. I do feel like our ummah puts so much emphasis on what the women should be doing. As for the plural marriage issue; the overwhelming majority of the situations that I know of personally are done completely against Islamic principles in many ways. Plus plural marriages in Western countries is against the law and creates a set of problems that can have adverse effects on the entire family. We need to consider the reality of our societies.
I was grateful that he mentioned that, contrary to the opinion of Muslim men and women, the wife’s role, is not to be a cook and house keeper. According to the shariah, a wife’s primary role is to raise the children and protect the home and property and have sexual relations with the husband. Most of what she does beyond this is purely for the reward from Allah.