June 27, 2011 | 6 Comments »
Important Pre-marital Questions
1. Have you ever been married before? Are you married now?
2. Do you think deen and religion are important in your life? Do you have issues with other madhabs? What are your thoughts on hijab, niqab, beard, etc
3. Do you have any loans or debts that need to be repaid? Who will pay back the loans? Your family or do I have to take care of it? What steps are you taking to eliminate that debt?
4. Do you plan to study/work after marriage? If so, for how long?
5. Do you want to have children? If so, when?
6. How do you want to bring up our children in the future? Islamic school? Public School? Home School? Do you want them to be Islamic scholars?
7. Where do you want to live after marriage? Do you want to live with your parents or somewhere else alone?
8. Do you suffer from chronic disease? Any std or sti and are you willing to take a physical exam before marriage?
it’s nice someone wrote out the questions, but it’s nice to also PLEASE LISTEN TO THE LECTURE IF YOU CAN – it adds in more detail
Some of the points have multiple questions within each category, so I guess that’s why it is titled 10.
What if it’s too late and you’re already married and find out that you’re like a north pole and a south pole?
It is never too late to spend the rest of your life in happiness even though you might be poles apart right now. Just because the past has been filled with quarrels does not mean that history has to keep on repeating itself.
Read up on the topic of marital conflict resolution. Read up and listen to lectures on marriage together. There is so much stuff out there but we all think that we know it all when it comes to knowing how to live with each other amiably and amicably. We all have disagreements in marriage but we need to learn how to resolve those differences.
We have spent 100’s of hours learning secular sciences which is a good thing. But how much time did we dedicate to learning how to live with each other in a matrimonial relationship?
My younger brother, who has dealt with more than 75 marital conflicts, told me that if the spouses become more religious, then that is one of the best cures to marital discord.
Though it is not a panacea to marital discord, but becoming more religious and implementing the wonderful social teachings of Islam will go a long way in helping us fulfill the rights of our spouses In Sha Allah.
Question # 5 may also result in a slap on the face of the poor man………and the woman may never be comfortable asking this question
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