This is a lecture given by Ustatha Iesha Prime during the Acting Single While Married Conference at Sister Clara Muhammad School (Philadelphia Masjid) in Philly. During her talk she elaborated on areas of the marriage many women fall short.
A central theme in Surah An-Nur is marriage and the main criteria for choosing a spouse. Nouman Ali Khan stresses that it is imperative in this day and age for parents to realise that the world their children live in today is completely different from theirs when they were growing up. Young people must have the freedom to meet in a dignified manner and parents must open the doors to what is halal when their children are ready for marriage because if they don’t they are, in fact, flinging the doors to the impermissible wide open. Prophet Muhammed sought refuge from an Ummah full of single men and women who are unable to get married out of social and financial concerns.
Countless Muslims are using the search engines of the Internet to search for a spouse. However, a quick perusal of Muslim matrimonial websites reveals how basic Islamic principles are ignored. A person’s income, race, and color – or worse yet, skin tone – are often greater considerations than a person’s piety. The pictures that accompany many “profiles” are indecent. How safe are these sites, especially for women? Why are Muslims using “virtual meat markets” to find a potential spouse? How can our communities facilitate young people’s search for a spouse? What does our religion have to say about contacting perfect strangers of the opposite sex for “love and friendship”? How can we better address the real crisis that lies beneath “Light-skinned Muslimah seeking Muslim doctor to share life with”?
Sheikh Abdal Hakim offers some thoughts on gender in Islam. He begins, with characteristic catholicity, by discussing the career of Valentine de Sainte Point, an early French feminist and Futurist who in later life rejected what she perceived as the dehumanising trajectory of Western culture and converted to Islam, in which she found a more integrated and integrative understanding of human nature.
From that, the sheikh moves on discuss some aspects of the Islamic understanding of gender and sexuality, and how in this respect, as in others, the message of the Qu’ran and the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) acted as a rectification to misinterpretations of previous revelation; in this case, the rejection and excoriation of human sexuality often manifested by Christianity. The Prophet, by contrast, as ‘mankind perfected’, embraced this aspect of his humanity as he did every other, according to the Divine Guidance. His role as exemplar was thereby extended to women partly through his marriages, which provided multiple models of exemplary female behaviour. The sheikh finishes by discussing this in relation to the Prophet’s wives (may God be pleased with them) and Qur’anic examples of ideal women.
“If you want your marriage to be to the tee, here are some of the Ts to watch:
Taqwa (consciousness) of the Almighty
Trust one another. Don’t give reason to mistrust
Time spent with one another maximised. Don’t be late to come home unnecessarily
Tongue must be used to say the kindest words. Never vulgar or abusive
Talk to one another & communicate properly
Temper must always be controlled
Truthfulness never to be compromised
Tolerance of the differences here and there
Thanks & gratitude must be shown clearly and repeated verbally
Thoughtfulness & Tact in your actions & words especially when correcting one another
Troublemakers should never be a part of your friends.
Technology must be used to enhance your marriage, not to break it as many do
Tea and meals at home with family – absolutely priceless
Tahajjud (prayer) adds great value & spirituality whilst protecting from Satan”
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani looks at the key elements of a successful marriage. By looking at the the Qur’an, Prophetic teachings, and scholarly wisdom, Shaykh Faraz shares clear and practical guidance that we can uphold to have marriages that fulfill the worldly and spiritual potential of what the Prophet (peace be upon him) referred to as “Half the religion.”
How does conflict start between couples, parents and their children and how can we avoid it? The vicious cycle of conflict. What a a husband and wife need the most from their marriage? Working towards conflict free home. Managing our differences. Come and join us for a thought provoking presentation on marriage and family dynamics in a Muslim’s home.
Yasmin talks about the concept of love in Islam, how love for Allah triumphs over anything else. She also touches upon Brotherhood / Sisterhood familial love, maintaining Gender relations the permissible way, how to determine who is the right partner and when to make that call.
Mufti Nazim Mangera discusses the important topic of domestic violence from multiple Islamic sources. Everyone needs to hear this lecture. In it, he also clarifies some misconceptions about a Quranic verse which is misinterpreted by some Muslims. Also, he strongly encourages the listeners to never hit their wife. The best of us are those who will NEVER hit their wife.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani spoke on the absolute impermissibility of domestic violence, the importance of the rights of others, the grave consequences of wrongdoing, and upholding the excellence of character in his Friday Sermon at the Brampton Islamic Centre, December 09, 2011. He shows clearly how there is absolutely no place for domestic violence–nor any unjust or wrongful conduct–in the religion of Islam; and that the Prophetic way is to uphold excellence of character, as a means of seeking the acceptance and pleasure of God.
This lecture is a vital one to watch, for both sisters and brothers. Shaykh Khalid Yasin goes through many important topics, such as the rights and responsibilities of the wife to husband and vice-versa, the controversial issue of polygamy (multiple marriage) – the wisdom and legitimacy behind it and much more. The Shaykh also gives lots of advice for a successful and happy marriage.